Women simply do not like scratchy beards or messy facial hair
Shocking. Actually it really wasn’t, but how do we know for sure? Well, we ran a survey, and because surveys are never wrong.
The “Women & Beards” survey, was one of the first bits of market research we ever did. Market research is a thing you do before spending all your money making a product no one wants. Also it’s not very popular these days, YOLO bitches.
The survey had four qualifying questions we wanted a ‘YES” for before you moved onto ‘Part Two’ where we asked a variety of beard related and beardy questions. Eventually we hit 100 qualifying responses.
- Q1: Are you a Woman?
- Q2: Do you like Men? 100%
- Q3: Do you like Beards? 100%
- Q4: Do You like Swearing? 100%
Sorry guys, we wanted responses from the people who actually have to kiss that handsomely whiskered face of yours. So our data sample is 100 women who like, men, beards & swearing 🙂
We at Beardifulman had guessed our data might be slightly skewed because of the simple yes/no nature of our beard survey questions, but what was interesting was just how resounding the results ended up being.
Q5: Do you like unkempt or messy facial hair on men?
The Breakdown: Well yeah, I don’t know how many times men have to be told to get those man whiskers under control. But if you need any more reason, try the fact that 90% of women don’t like your man beard being messy.
Surprise Meter: 1/10
Q6: Do you like hard and/or scratchy beards on men?
The Breakdown: So instead of messy or unkempt, lets see if women like hard and scratchy beards. Uuuummmm going to run with , no, no we don’t. Oh look 98 out of 100 women agree on that. When have you ever seen 98 women agree on anything ever!
Surprise Meter: 0/10
Q7: Would you enjoy kissing a man with an unkempt and scratchy beard?
The Breakdown: Look, some girls out there will brave a scratchy beard for their man or someone they are attracted to. Bet your ass though we will be buying you a razor shortly thereafter!
Surprise Meter: 8/10
Q8: Have you ever had “Pash or Gash Rash” from “kissing” someone with a beard?
The Breakdown: Pash rash is real mofo’s, it exists and we all know women are on the receiving end of it. I can’t explain why you’d ever let a guy near your lips or love triangle with a rough or prickly beard, but looks like many of us have…
Surprise Meter: 4/10
Q9: Would you describe Beardiful men, with Beardiful man beards as – “Sexy As Fuck” ?
The Breakdown: Some girls are suckers for a well groomed beard on a man, I’m terming those lucky bastards the Beardiful and we wanted to see what the general female vibe was toward them. Some good news for men with nice beards right there I’d say.
Surprise Meter: 5/10
Q10: Were you aware that beard oil and beard balms can help make beards extremely soft?
The Breakdown: This was one of the results we found most interesting. Two thirds of the women who completed our survey did not know the most essential element of why men should use beard oil, that being the softening factor.
Surprise Meter: 9/10
If you are a woman reading this, hopefully you now know that there is hope for hard, scratchy, unkempt, messy beards. It’s called grooming and Beardifulman has all the tools and beard care products you need if your man has decided to go ‘full beard’, hehehe.
If you are a man reading this, hopefully it’s evident that being attractive with a beard isn’t very hard, you just have to keep your man whiskers from sticking up our noses when we kiss you, or from sending us to the clinic with an itchy fun hatch.
Remember you are there to scratch an itch, not give us one 😉
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