Machine Sins beard balm is a riders best friend, hammer down stitching a line or just rolling through country side, Machine Sins beard balm will style, protect, moisturize and repair your beard while you ride, glide or slide.
Machine Sins · Beard Balm
Add To Cart
Scent & Ingredients

What does it smell like?

Think of warm homemade Ginger tea or the time you watched a friend do the ‘Cinnamon challenge’ and spent the next several hours laughing at his dumb ass.

You better member
You better member

Personally it reminds me of Red Hots, a small cinnamon-flavored candy, does anyone remember red hots?

Add To Cart

Machine Sins beard balm has found itself a niche and dug itself in “like an Alabama Tick” (I know you said that in Jesse Ventura’s voice).

It's about to be a bad day for a certain, son of a bitch
It’s about to be a bad day for a certain, son of a bitch

The main reason riders and you cafe racer fairies enthusiasts love Machine Sins beard balm is primarily due to the high beeswax content of this particular balm.

It’s still soft, pliable and easy applicable, but the high percentage of wax makes this balm extremely good for styling your beard, before, after and of course during any ride, holding it together a little more and preventing the dreaded beard puff.

Puff strikes fear into the hearts of the Beardiful
Puff strikes fear into the hearts of the Beardiful
Medical Daily

In fact the biggest problem you will have after discovering or using Machine Sins is you now lack an excuse to not be stitching her, “your bike”, down the line at every moment of the day and night.

In fact your second biggest problem after discovering or using Machine Sins is finding your girlfriend or wife lying naked on your beloved man hog trying to get your attention.

Many men will relate to the terrible decision you now face
Many men will relate to the terrible decision you now face

You will have to deal with her sternly and get her off, “your bike”, before heading out onto the open roads where your true passion passions lie.

Those passions being speed, adventure and outlaw freedom. In fact while writing this I’ve simply been waiting patiently to use Hunter S. Thompson quotes to explain the feeling you get from hammering your street mistress on any applicable surface you can find.

Ride it like you stole it gentlemen
Ride it like you stole it gentlemen

Speed, adventure and freedom, these are the things a man needs in order to stay a man. Take any one of them away and you have him become something entirely different. Possibly a lawyer, politician or serial sender of unsolicited dick pics.

Just remember this, life is short, temporary, full of dangerous curves and potentially has no point at all, so we will let Hunter S. Thompson explain things for us one more time…

You have your bible. I have mine
You have your bible. I have mine

Be daring, be bold, get yourself some Machine Sins beard balm and keep that beard looking good, before sliding broadside into hell!

Add To Cart
How To Use
  • Open the tin and retrieve a "beef stock cube" sized amount of balm.
  • Crush and rub the balm into your palm with your finger until consistency is correct.
  • Rub the balm into/onto your beard with your hands.
  • Style with comb or hands as necessary.
Customer Reviews
  • Getting Reviews

Add a review

What Is Beard Oil?

Simply put, quality beard oil stops you having a stiff scratchy beard with flaky or damaged skin underneath & makes it far far likelier that you’ll feel the pleasure & warmth of "actual human" lips pressed against yours again sometime in the future ...


What the heck is beard balm?

That's exactly what I thought when it was mentioned to me in the same sentence as beard care products. I thought, I have beard oil, I don't need no damned beard balm. So WTF is beard balm? Why do you need it & how have you lived without ...


Geeks & Villains
Beard Care Package Deal

Get 6 months worth of beard oil & beard care products with the Beardifulman ‘Geeks & Villains’ package deal!

Get all five beard oils as part of the mega cheap Geeks & Villians Package deal!
Get all three beard balms in the Beardifulman M.A.N range together in one package deal
Get some Beardifulman Wild Substance beard wax, with the Geeks & Villains beard care package deal

Buy Geeks & Villains
$145.75 / $99.00

Contact Us

Got some constructive feedback or just lonely at your computer screen? You can email and you will likely find one of our helpful customer service staff is there to be real helpful like.


Oh, are you leaving?

We get it, even though we make beardiful beard oils & balms, not everyone wants to look the same, or GOOD. So just go. I mean it, don’t make this weird.